Love in the Face of Fear

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Jim Kroft – Auster Club, Berlin; November 15th, 2019

Three years! That much time had passed since I’d last seen Jim Kroft play live. He didn’t play all that many concerts in those years and whenever he did, it was either too short notice and/or just impossible for me to get to. So when he announce a CD release gig for his new album ‘Love in the Face of Fear’ I immediately bought a ticket and was looking forward to it for months. It was everything I had hoped for. He was in a great mood, had a good band and everyone in the audience was radiating happiness at seeing them live. The gig was wonderful, passionate and emotional. Just what I needed that night. 🙂

Since I had to work on show day, I got started early. In the morning I realized I had not booked a hotel in Berlin for that night and reached out to my friend A. who saved my sorry butt and agreed to house me. <3 She also told me there was going to be and afterparty, but not at the venue, not even in the same district of Berlin. After thinking about it we agreed not to go, because she had an early train the next morning and I knew I’d be dead tired by 11. The trip to Berlin was uneventful and only slightly delayed. Got to A.’s place, dropped my stuff and we got ready to leave. Arrived at the venue 30 minute sbefore the doors opened and were almost alone – that’s Berlin for you! Eventually, soundcheck was done, Jim an the band walked out, said hello in passing. K. arrived and I started seeing some other familiar faces. We got in, settled down, waited, the usual. Slowly, but surely the club filled with people.

There was a support act, Robert John Hope, a singer songwriter. He was OK, but his music was nothing special to me. Fine to pass the time, but I was happy he did only get 20 minutes, because he was not who I had come for. He had a few fans in the house, but they left after he was done.

After a break, the band stepped on stage, got seemingly read, but then left again for some reason. They were right back though and we greeted them with loud cheers. Not all the faces were familiar, but I knew bassist XXXX and drummer Dan Telander. It now occurs to me that Jim never introduced the band. He must have just forgotten in all the excitement. His supporters had made signs with “Welcome back” or “Welcome back on stage” written on them for everyone to hold up at the beginning and we all did.

The launched right into the first song, ‘Love in the Face of Fear’. The sound was terrible, at times I could hardly hear what Jim was singing. However, his enthusiasm made up for all of that. He was in it, heart and soul, singing with his eyes closed, so many emotions written on his face it was a joy to watch. I could absolutely not stop smiling. This was exactly hat I had come for, this was what I had missed. For ‘I hope you know’ I was already singing along and so was everyone else it seemed.It was already a great night.

He didn’t talk much, just played song after song with a band that has just as much fun as he did. More than once that night all the passion I saw on display drove me close to tears. Wow, just wow! After ‘Trying to reach the Earth’ Jim thanked us all for coming. He was so emotional, he hardly got the words out. <3 I wanted to hug him right then and there. ‘Yes we are still Human’, a new song was great and a powerful version of ‘Sara’ followed. It immediately brought back imaged of the ‘The March of Hope’ documentary. I felt a lump in my throat then and weirdly that made me happy. Good concerts are supposed to create a rainbow of emotions and this one did.

‘Birthrights’ was a lot more upbeat and I was moving with the music, noticing how much of the lyrics to Jim’s songs I had forgotten. He said that he was seeing many familiar faces that he knows and loves and also so new ones, thanking us again for coming back after all this time and supporting him. ‘Beautiful Ways’ was next and exactly that, beautiful. I looked at all the happy faces in the crowd, the people singing along and felt at home. There was absolutely nowhere else I wanted to be. Jim was clearly enjoying himself too. That made me even happier, because I knew he’d had some rough times lately, so I’m sure he could use a break.

“It’s time for a whiskey” he announced to no one in particular, but then made do with a beer for the time being. With the announcement of his new song ‘Obstacles’ he gave a shoutout to Jonathan Kluth, his friend and producer of the new album. Not knowing the new songs well enough to sing along yet, I made do with just moving along. They are all great. The next one ‘Gravity’s gone’ put goose bumps on my skin. 🙂 For ‘Redemption the entire band went into the crowd, singing at the center of the room without microphones and asking everyone to sing along. It was a lovely choir.

Back on stage they went right into ‘The Jailer’ and it absolutely brought the house down. “Yes I’m searching, still I’m searching, doing the best or the best I can” everyone sang and we did not stop when Jim stepped away from the mic for a moment and let us have the floor. It was a beautiful, magical moment and the huge smile on Jim’s face said it all. <3 The love in the room was palpable. “It’s good to be back on stage” Jim yelled, then announced ‘The Hero’, which sounded very Iggy Pop, the Passenger. Not a bad thing at all. 😀

He may not have spoken much that night, but his songs said everything. The setlist was nearly perfect – a great mixture of old and new. “You learn how to love, learn how to live…” we sang along to ‘Through my Weakness’, then listened to ‘Bahnhof Friedrichstrasse’, his love-letter of sorts to Berlin. ‘Tell me’ and ‘See how the Darkness grows’ brought us back to the ‘Lunatic Lullabies’, the former sparking another great audience sing-along. The main set ended with the new and amazing ‘Favorite Kind of Sinner’. It rocked and had us clapping to the beat.

We yelled and screamed for an encore and they gladly delivered. Or, as Jim put it “I guess we’ve got nowhere to go without being beat up.” 😉 He called several of his friends on stage to help him sing ‘Waiting for a Healing’. Some where more unwilling than others and tried to hide in the back, but in the end none of them escaped and they all joined the band at their microphones. They were also joined by a trumpet player, Milan (sp?), their special guest. While everyone was getting on stage, Jim told us about the after show party. The song turned out great. Last, but not least, the band ended the show with ‘Not in my Name’ – it was the perfect song to finish the night with.

Afterwards, Jim tried to get through to the merch table, but everyone wanted to talk to him, congratulate him, hug him, so his progress was very slow. I got a very sweaty hug on the way, then got in line to get the new album signed and have a few words with him,. I listened in to a few conversations he had and he sounded genuinely happy. he also spoke about the excitement and all the lyrics in his head at the same time, so he felt a bit overloaded. I had a lot of time to think about what I wanted to say, how to best express the feeling I had. I settled for “It was fantastic, you brought me to tears a few times” and that was just right. He thanked me and we hugged again. There was so much more I wanted to say, but I did not want to take up everyone’s time. Thus I thanked him again for the wonderful show and said goodbye. See you on tour next year! 🙂

pictures of this concert

Setlist

Love in the Face of Fear
I hope you know
Try to reach the Earth
Yes we are still human
Sara
Birthrights
Beautiful Ways
Obstacle
Gravity’s gone
Redemption
The Jailer
The Hero
Through my Weakness
Bahnhof Friedrichstrasse
Tell me
See how the darkness grows
Favourite Type of Sinner

Waiting for a Healing
Not in my Name

 

Feelin good as hell

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Lizzo – Palladium, Cologne; November 13th, 2019

The first time I became aware of Lizzo was on my Twitter feed, when Jameela Jamil spoke about her. I had no clue who she was, didn’t even know she sang, but her name kept popping up as an unapologetic, positive voice for big girls and I liked her attitude. Then, some time later, people started talking about her awesome concerts, among them Grace Petrie. So when I accidentally stumbled across tour dates, I decided to buy a ticket. I had checked out her music and it wasn’t really my cup of tea, but it wouldn’t be the first time that a live show could make me appreciate music I would not usually listen to. I was right, the concert was all sorts of wonderful and I left it with a huge smile. “I know you’re smiling bitch, cause I can see you!” – hell yes I am and I’m pretty sure I will be for a few more days. 😀

In the morning, I was still in London and due to a delayed train, not even sure I was going to make it to the the concert. Luckily things worked out in my favor and I just made my flight, even managed to sleep a few hours before I had to leave home again. Surprisingly, the train to Cologne was on time too and around 5:30 I found myself outside Palladium, where the queue was not as long as I had feared. One hour later we were inside and I found a nice spot upstairs with a side view of the stage. Would have been great to take pictures, but photography was not allowed and I did not want to risk getting caught with my camera.

Time passed and at 8 Sophia Eris, Lizzo’s DJ, did a warm up set for us. It made me feel really old, because everyone else was singing along and I had no idea what these songs were. The only one I recognized was a part of Whitney Houston’s ‘ I wanna dance with somebody’. She got us warmed up alright, people were already dancing and having a good time.

It took only moments to change the stage and get it ready for Lizzo, but she made us wait until 9 before she started the show. As soon as I saw “Lizzo” light up on the DJ table I forgot all about waiting and was excited for the Show. At first she came out all alone and immediately won me over with her great voice. When she called “Worship me” I was ready to do so and I am sure by the end of  the night, everyone in the venue was. What a powerful, beautiful Woman! Downstairs on the floor everyone was moving and partying, singing along to the dongs. People around me did the same and while I danced too, I felt sorry I didn’t know any of her lyrics. In the end that didn’t matter much, because I had a total blast anyway. She just exuded so much positive energy it was contagious.

Soon, she brought out DJ Sophia Eris and her dancers, the big girls. They were wonderful and showed us how to move with jiggling asses and swinging hips. I loved watching them. So much about this show was a celebration of women. In Addition to that it was a celebration of love and happiness and of course music. I smiled and I danced and I felt great all evening. Apparently Lizzo did too. She told us she had not felt that good in a long time and really enjoyed being there. She had great energy and is such a good role model for (young) women. It was pure joy to see so many happy women dancing, singing and moving with the music. And quite a few men too. Only the, all male, security guards looked stoically at the crowd and seemed to wonder what the hell was happening. 😀

From the very start she had everyone under her command. When she told us to sing, we did and when she told us to keep the feeling alive and the smile on our faces, I am sure that everyone, like me, decided to give it their best shot. Her singing was great, she showed us some terrific moves and she looked glorious to boot.This is a woman who feels good inside her own skin and shows it to everyone. More power to her! We cheered her on and we worshipped her and when she asked us to remember this next time we met a big girl like her, I sure hope everyone will. There are so many misconceptions about big women and our society treats them so badly that it’s good to be reminded of one’s privilege (if you are skinny) and remember to be kind. Fat shaming is not cool and does not help anyone.

Lizzo spoke up and sang out whatever she felt like, unashamed and unapologetic and I instantly loved her for it. So many times I nodded and shouted out in agreement. If I#d had a glass I’d have raised it in a toast. Hell yeah! Here’s to being happy with who you are. When she announced that it was time for ‘Jerome’ to go, the whole audience seemed to agree and we sang along with her (or I tried the best I could). At some point she told us all to put on the lights on our mobile phones, looking to the people on the floor and on the balcony, talking to us, pointing at one guy and saying “You think I can’t see you, but I can see you”, telling him to get with the program and he did. It looked beautiful and lit up the whole venue.

We stomped and clapped along with the beat and the floor might have been shaking just a little. She asked for her girls – *scream!*, her boys – screams and her gay boys – more screams. Everyone was with her, right then and there and when she told us she loved us all, we believed her. She told us she’d been to London and Paris and nobody booed so she was impressed with us being so nice. Then, when she started about playing in other German cities we booed for that, letting her know Cologne was hotter than Berlin or Munich and she laughed “now we got some competition going”. Her and her dancers’ outfits were fabulous and they changed a few times too. At some point it was a sort of wedding outfit with a vail and each of them carried a bouquet, throwing it into the crowd.

Somewhere during the second half of the show, maybe before ‘Like a girl’, she spoke to all of us, saying “I love you! You are beautiful! And you can do anything!” Then she asked us to turn to the person next to us and tell them these words. we did and it felt true and real. After that she asked us to say it to her too and we screamed it out loud. “I love you! You are beautiful! And you can do anything!” – It felt great! everyone around me looked happy and she let us know that she could see us smiling. Absolutely.

Lizzo disappeared backstage briefly, while we watched the big girls dance, and came back out wearing black track pants that had “100%” written on her left leg in golden letters. When she turned we could see gold letters of “That Bitch” and when she asked “What does it say?” we read it out loudly. It was of course the start to ‘Truth Hurts’ – “I just took a DNA test, turns out I’m 100% that bitch”. I cannot really explain how empowering all of this felt, but it did. It made me so happy and let me forget any of my troubles just watching her do her thing and seeing the love coming from the people around me, seeing them lost in the music with huge smiles on their faces. I did not want that night to end.

It had to though and as she disappeared again backstage before the encores, I moved downstairs for an easier getaway in the end. soon she was back for one last song, ‘Juice’ and she played a flute solo during it – wow, just wow. To great cheers she finally left and I felt blown off of my feet by the force of nature she is. What an incredible woman! What an incredible show! I will gladly come back and see her again another time and smiled all the way home. Thank you Lizzo, you are amazing!

Setlist

Heaven Help Me
Worship / Respect (Aretha Franklin & Elton John cover)
Cuz I Love You
Exactly How I Feel
Scuse Me
Water Me
Jerome
“It’s My Party” / Crybaby
Tempo
Boys
“Gigolo” Game / Like a Girl
Soulmate
Lingerie
Good As Hell
Truth Hurts

Encore:
Juice